A better dad

 

https://goodmenproject.com/families/to-the-other-dad-on-the-playground-the-day-my-son-wore-a-pink-dress-wat/?fbclid=IwAR1_1GL-Thu_5RciTCOGMJrhgtUtsZxg_nbVrQ7od0gZem1QSUhdaKLd_Jo

A letter from one dad to another went viral after it was posted online. The letter described an incident on a playground where a little boy wore a dress. The little boy's dad watched as his son, wearing a dress, approached two girls and was rejected, but he also heard their dad's response. The boy's dad wrote a letter to the other dad. The full version is in the link above; below is an edited version for this assembly.

Dear other dude at the playground on Saturday,

I couldn’t fight the need to write you about an incident between our kids. Remember me? I was the dad with the son wearing a pink dress. Before he burst onto the playground, and as I parked the car, he was positively vibrating. I asked, “Now…you’re sure you want to wear your dress?”

He shouted in response, “Yes! Because I want to show everyone how beautiful I am in this beautiful dress!” It was a big deal for him; and for me. He hasn’t asked to wear a dress “out,” before. I didn’t fight it. Who cares, right?

Or so we’d like to think.

As you noticed, he couldn’t contain his excitement showing off the dress to the only two kids playing…your daughter and her friend. He skipped and twirled and chased them for ten minutes shouting, “Do you like my dress? I’m wearing a dress! Can I play with you? Will you play with me?”

Your daughter and her friend were obviously older and uninterested in welcoming a new playmate. But my son continued, “Do you see my beautiful dress? It’s a Sleeping Beauty dress!”

Then my reticence was confirmed when your daughter walked by me saying to her friend, “I don’t want to play with a boy in a dress.”

I admit I wanted to trip her.

But when your daughter said to you, “Daddy, that boy is wearing a dress,” your response was... 

_________________________________________________________________________________

stop here and ask the children to predict the other dad's response 

________________________________________________________________________________

your response was a pure gold moment, for me: “Well…you’re wearing trousers, aren’t you?”

I was touched and surprised by your compassion. Like you, I just want my kids to be happy. So, thank you.

Thank you for showing my son support for his choices. Thank you for bringing more acceptance to your (understandably) inquisitive daughter. Thank you for encouraging my son’s joy.

You helped me be a better father, in turn.

Thanks, dude.

Daddy Coping in Style

- Why does Dad address the letter to "the other dude on the playground"?

- How do you think Dad felt initially about his son wearing a dress to the playground? ("are you sure you want to wear a dress?")

- He hadn't asked to wear a dress "out" before, "It was a big deal for him and for me" - why?

- "Who cares, right? Or so we'd like to think..." why is dad saying in this line?

- Why do you think the girls did not want to play with the boy in a dress?

- How did Dad fell when the girl walked past him and said she didn't want to play with a boy in a dress?

- What was the response from her dad, why did he say that? what does that show about how he feels about a boy wearing a dress?

- how did the other dad's response make the boy's dad feel?

-"Thank you for showing my son support for his choices. Thank you for bringing more acceptance to your (understandably) inquisitive daughter. Thank you for encouraging my son’s joy." How do those 4 simple words (well, you're wearing trousers) achieve all that?

- "You helped me be a better father, in turn." - how?

- why do you think the boy's dad didn't approach the other dad on the playground to say thank you at the time?

- what can we learn from the boy in a dress?

- what can we learn form his dad?

- what can we learn from the other dad?

- why is this about No Outsiders?

No Outsiders: Everyone different, Everyone welcome by Andrew Moffat

www.no-outsiders.com

Difference

 

https://scoop.upworthy.com/this-mom-is-on-a-mission-to-show-her-daughter-who-has-a-rare-birthmark-that-shes-beautiful?fbclid=IwAR0hXiZvnN5D8grKkcfO5YldscSHV7oFYo1jrGe9D4zLp5IiyRXjkIA7krE

Winry Hall is a happy, healthy, confident 13 month old baby who is a bundle of joy, always laughing. Winry was born with a birthmark on her face so she looks different to other babies. Winry's mother is using social media to reimagine beauty standards and show her baby that she is beautiful.

Mum says, "For a lot of people, this is the first time seeing a birth mark like hers and that's part of why I enjoy sharing. This is a good conversation for parents with their children to see kids have differences, or for those parents who do have a kid that looks like Winry or has any kind of birthmark, to see their child represented."

Mum says being different can be a child's superpower.

As Winry grows older, she will have to be careful to use sunscreen and wear hats to protect her skin, but Mum says her biggest worry is bullying at school, and experiences she might have in her childhood.

"A lot of that comes from ignorance and not having seen this before. Before I had her in my arms, I had not seen a birthmark like this either. It doesn't upset me that others haven't seen it but I just wish that was different. I really feel like the more you see differences the more normalised they will be." That is why Mum is sharing photos and videos on social media.

Since sharing photos of Winry, Mum has met many other people with birthmarks who she says radiate positivity which is heart warming and has given her support. Mum says 20 years from now she just wants Winry to be doing whatever makes her happy as she can do whatever she sets her heart on.

what do you see in the picture, what do you think this story is about?

- what is a birth mark? (the proper medical term is congenital melanocytic nevi, or CNN)

- "re-imagine beauty" what does that mean?

- who decides what is beautiful and not beautiful in society? How do we get these messages? 

- Despite a slightly increased need to protect her baby's skin from the sun, Mum's bigger worry is bullying by other children - why?

- where does bullying come from? 

-  "the more you see differences the more normalised they will be." what does this mean?

- There is a video in the link were we can see Winry has a doll that looks like her - why do you think that is important for Winry?

- should Mum be worried about bullying? If Winry came to our school, would that be a problem?

- Mum has met many people with birthmarks who "radiate positivity" why do you think that is?

- "being different can be a child's superpower." - how can that be?

- what can we learn from Winry?

- Why is this about No Outsiders?

No Outsiders: Everyone different, everyone welcome by Andrew Moffat

www.no-outsiders.com