Thursday 5 October 2023

Bathroom

 

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/someone-asked-if-my-8-year-old-was-using-the-wrong-bathroom-heres-how-i-responded_uk_6501caede4b04bad69ec258d?fbclid=IwAR2wkMzpttLTn5tz61rugsexqxMCapmbxmUgNDwF7gR0pkpuVEv5cj7Sjeo

A Mum who lives in America has written a letter to a newspaper to express her anger about someone asking her eight year old son if he was in the right public bathroom. In America, people call toilets 'bathrooms' and like in the UK, often toilets are labelled male and female.

The mum doesn't want her son to be named in the letter so calls him Z.

Mum says, "One of the most remarkable things about Z is that he throws tired gender norms out of the door. He has beautiful long hair, his favourite outfit is rainbow leggings paired with a pink bomber jacket. He openly cries, plays the flute, articulates his feelings and rocks out to Dolly Parton. He also loved football, lego, vintage cars and biking."

Mum asks, "Do any of these things define his gender? Of course not!"

The incident happened when Z was leaving the boys bathroom and someone asked him if he used the wrong bathroom. Z replied, "No, I'm a boy!"

Mum says she and her family are really careful about their use of pronouns and if they see someone walking down the street that they don't know, they will not assume and use the pronouns he or she. They will use 'they' until they they know differently. 

Z said he was offended that someone questioned his bathroom use; "Why do they care? It's ok that I have long hair and I am a boy."

Z felt embarrassed to go back to the person, but Mum went and spoke to them for him. Mum says she went and spoke to the person because, "I truly believe that if approached correctly, conversations such as these can lead to positive change."

- what is gender?
- Ze "throws tired gender norms out of the door." what does that mean?
- why do you think someone questioned Z as he left the male bathroom?
- is it ok to do that? You could argue they were trying to help. Z could have made a mistake... what do you think?
- why was Z offended?
- why do Z's family take care about the pronouns they use when they meet someone new?
- do pronouns matter? Why? (or why not?)
- "Why do they care?" why might the person have cared? Does it matter which bathroom people use? explain your answer.
- why was Z embarrassed to go and talk to the person with mum?
- "I truly believe that if approached correctly, conversations such as these can lead to positive change." what does mum mean by this?
- How do you think Mum talked to the person? Did she shout? 
- if we have bathrooms that are labelled male and female, is there a challenge here? What if people do not look like traditional males or traditional females? Where do they go? Who decides? How do you think Z might feel next time he visits a public bathroom? 
-what is the answer? (there is no 'correct' answer, but this could be a great discussion where children listen and consider and give their points of view. Children might suggest we have gender-neutral bathrooms; children might suggest we work to change attitudes about what a boy looks like and what a girl looks like...perhaps Z should cut his hair to look like a traditional boy... )
- how would Z be treated if he was in our school?
- what can we learn from Z?
- Why is this about No Outsiders?


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